Calderwood Fake Staff

In order to complete mic checks and have a good laugh while not running out of things to talk about, here's a list of some of our little known staff members to make you smile.

Courtesy of the end credits of many many episodes of Car Talk, this is a small selection of their staff

• Furniture Transportation Specialist - Tech Ralph Tech

• Video Conference Technician - Wall-E

• Customer Care Representative - Heywood Jabuzzoff

• Ornithology Intern - Luke A. Boyd

• Airline Seat Tester - Wilma Butfit

• Airline Reservation Manager - Will Price Randomly

• Animal Control Officer - Turner Luce

• Appetizer Coordinator - Barbara Ganoosh

• Art Critic - Phyllis Stein

• Assistant Customer Care Representative - Kurt Reply

• Assistant Disciplinarian - Joaqin D'Planque

• Audience Response Analyst - Luke Warm

• Bean Counter - Ed A. Mamme

• Scenery Brake Adjuster - Schlomo Quigley

• Caffeine Addiction Counselor - Bruno Moore

• Chairman of our Underemployment Study Group - Art Majors

• Chief Legal Councel - Dewey, Cheetham, & Howe

• Child Transportation Specialist - Minnie Van Driver

• Cleanliness Inspector - Adolph Defloor

• Clock Watcher - Colette O'Day

• Compassion Coordinator - Ophelia Payne

• Conductor of the Calderwood Pavilion Symphony Orchestra - Philip Harmonic

• Copyright Attorney - Pat Pending

• Daylight Savings Time Manager - Konrad Addenhour

• Dental Hygenist - Ginger Vitis

• Director of Accounts Payable - Bill Shredder

• Director of Catering - Russell UpSomeGrub

• Director of Computer Services - Dot Matrix

• Director of Delicate Electronics Repair - Anita Hammer

• Director of Global Warming Research - Nomar Winter

• Director of the Intensive Care Unit - Peekaboo Street and his office known as the Peekabo ICU

• Director of Jamaican Baseball Operations - Reggae Jackson

• Director of Monopoly Policy - Juan Moorehouse

• Director of Pavlovian Research - Isabelle Ringing

• Director of Purchasing - Lois Bidder

• Director of Top Secret Strategy - Donatella Nobatti

• Drycleaner - Preseton Creases

• Ebay Specialist - Selma Junkoff

• Electronics Technician - Sammy Conductor

• Elvis Impersonator - Amal Shookup

• Emergency Humor Hotline Operator - Joe Klein

• Cooling Systems Manager - Jean Claude Air Damme

• Evasive Driving Instructor - Vera Bruptly

• Figure Skating Coach - Landon McKeaster

• Footwear Consultant - Susan Shocks

• French Dogwalker - Poupon Degrasse

• Gastroenterologist - Cameron Diaz

• Golf Pro - Putnam Daily

• Gospel Choir Director - Colin Response

• Gum Surgeon - Perry O'Dontal

• Head of Watersports Marketing - Selma Kayak

• Holiday Decoration Specialist - Aretha Holley

• Insurance Agent - Heidi Deductible

• Interpretive Dance Instructor - Tristian Shout

• Italian Conflict Resolution Specialists - Hugh and Maria Donnagria

• Liaison to the Space Program - Roger Houston

• Lighting Expert - Shanda Lear

• Loan Officer - I.O. Silver

• Long Distance Cycling Enthusiast - Major Ashburn

• Long Range Economic Planner - Darren D. Headlights

• Lottery Ticket Coordinator - Jason Rainbows

• Marine Biologist - Freida Wales

• Marine Forecaster - Windsor Calm

• Martial Arts Trainer - Anita Degroin

• Moving Van Driver - Carrie DeSofa

• Natural History Coordinator - Willie Mammoth

• New York Based Dispute Settlement Coordinator - Hugh TalkinToMe

• Nomadic Studies Lead - Roman Hunt

• Nutrition Consultants - Eaton Wright and Liven Good

• DNA Researcher - Gene Hackman

• Overnight Bus Driver - Borden Drousy

• Parking Garage Attendant - Ray Zador

• Parole Office - Willy Bolt

• Padestrian Advocate - Jay Walker

• Personal Trainer - Jim Shortz

• Photographer - F. Stop Fitzgerald

• Physical Therapist - Estelle Hoyts

• Podcast Reviewer - Kent San de Noyes

• Practical Joke Evaluator - Odessa Goodwyn

• Furnishings Coordinator - Rick Klein

• Proofreader - Erin Spelling

• Public Appearances Coordinator - Ida Klein

• Receptionist - Levon Hold

• Repo Agent - Carmine Now

• Rock and Roll Historian - Bruce Wade Hughes

• Rocket Scientist - Chet Propelled

• Route Planner - Oliver D. Map

• Russian Intern - Igor Beaver

• Scout Leader - Lawson D. Woods

• Seafood Provisioner - Howard E. Oysters

• Seasonal Adjustment Disorder Specialist - Mahmoud S. Bleak

• Second Shift Meteorologist - Claudio Vernight

• Self Esteem Coach - Mia Culpa

• Sensitive Language Advisor - Holly Schmidt

• Set Theorist from the Stockholm Office - Sven Diagram

• Shop Foreman - Constance Ubervision

• Short Order Cook - Burt Toast

• Singing Urologist - Urethra Franklin

• Sleep Clinic Operator - Betty Bayh

• Solicitor of New Ideas - Obie Quiet

• Special Liaison to the California Energy Commission - Tanya Lightsoff

• Staff Archivist - Bernadette File

• Staff Bikini Waxer - Harry Mouval

• Staff Cardioligist - Angie O'Plasty

• Staff Cat Feeder - Ken Opener

• Staff Cheese Expert - Gordon Zola

• Staff Chiroparctor - Winston Payne

• Staff Cooks - Al Denta, Sal Monella

• Staff Intuitionist - Ivan Inkling

• Staff Kitchen Designer - Joaquin Freezer

• Staff Kleptomaniac - Heidi Silver

• Staff Martini Mixer - Oliver Twist

• Staff Physicit - Moe Mentum

• Statistician - Marge Innovera

• Summer Intern - Gladys Overnow

• Swedish Attorney - Bjorn Liar

• Tax Consultant - Lou Pole

• Teenage Valet - Lao Tse Parker

• Termite Inspector - Luke Underwood

• Alleyway Set Decorator - Roxanne Debris

• Traffic Reporter - U.B. Crawlin

• Transcriber - Diana Boredom

• Travel Agent - Lois Faire

• Videographer - Schlomo Replay

• Wardrobe Assistant - Joaquin Closet

• Weight Loss Coach - Hugh Otto Dewitt

• Warewolf Studies Specialist - Harriet Knight

• Window Dressers - Curt and Rod